Friday, April 4, 2008

Mo' Money Mo' Problems

Well ladies and gents, I finally sold the house and managed to make myself a pretty phat chunk of change. I won't reveal exactly how big that chunk is here on my blog cuz I don't want any crazy blog-fans out there trying to put a cap in my ass for the dough. So now that I am such a high roller I have no idea how to spend all the money! A few days ago I attempted to waste a bunch of it on a shopping spree at Target but the most I could manage to get rid of was $35.29. Wouldn't you know it?? When I'm broke as a joke I can't get out of Target without spending less than $100 and now that I got money to burn I can't even drop a Benjamin. And I don't even know if that $35 counts because I spent it on necessities like Windex and toilet paper. What kind of shopping spree is that?!?!

I've decided to pay off the rest of my sweet new ride so that I don't end up paying for it twice in interest, but that still leaves a good amount to burn. I also have to pay of the unbelievable $5000 it cost to have movers bring all my belongings out to Texas. The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure that everything I own doesn't near amount to $5000. I definitely could have bought all new for that much. And that doesn't even include the investment I made in my liquor collection because stupid Mayflower won't move open bottles. Oh well.

So things are going good in Dallas. Doc is much happier at the new place and I think he is going to lose some weight because the apt has a flight of stairs the two places he spends most of his time, the litter box and the food bowl, are on different floors! Fortunately, my mom and aunt came out to help me set up the new apartment. And thank God they did because if they didn't I pretty sure I would be sitting on the couch amongst 400 boxes unable to find a damn thing for the next 6 months. I could not believe how many boxes there were and how much crap I have accumulated over the last 4 years. And the movers pack absolutely everything. I mean, they taped up my dirty laundry basket in a box. It was like Christmas pulling stuff out of the boxes cuz I found stuff I didn't even know I own.

It's really weird renting again after owning my place for 4 years. I had to ask the landlady if I could paint the walls and then of course she wanted to approve the color and yada yada yada...I was like, I'm over this already. There are a few perks though that I had forgotten about. When the toilet broke I called a plumber to come fix it and then remembered that I don't have to pay for that crap anymore so I just subtracted it from my rent. Woohoo!

Here's my latest installment on the man hunt front. Right before I started writing this blog I called my Mexican fix-it man to come over and tune up a few things for me. He's a real jokester. The first time he came over he put some kind of remote controlled fart maker under the cushion on the sofa and everytime my mom bent down to pick something up we all heard a huge rip roarin fart. It was actually pretty funny. Anyways, today when he was finished with everything I asked him how much I owe him and he told me it was up to me. I told him that was ridiculous and to please just tell me how much I owe him. To make a long story short, I now have to go on a date with my divorced 35-45 year old Mexican fix-it man with a child. Awesome. Oh, and being Mexican he is of course, shorter than me. We all know how much I love that.