Friday, June 22, 2007

Dayton Rocks!!

Heeelllooo again blog-fans! I have just gotten home from my first day (of 7) of orientation for my OB/GYN residency that starts on July 1st. Let me tell ya, after doing exactly nothing for almost 3 months now, sitting in a room listening to boring ass lectures for 8 hours has really taken it out of me. However, not only am I exhausted, I'm also slightly panicked. This is gonna be rough. Anyways, in an attempt to relieve some tension I thought I would blog about Julie and Jon's wedding in Dayton, Ohio last weekend.
First off, I have to give credit where credit is due. I'm fairly certain that this was the most fun wedding I have ever been to (sorry Willy and Lindsay, but anything short of leg amputation would have made this a better wedding for me). I was worried that I wouldn't get there because when I got to the airport in Charlotte, they informed me that once I flew in to Atlanta I would have to see an agent right away because I didn't have a seat assigned for the flight from Atlanta to Dayton. So of course, knowing me, what's the first thing I do when I get to Atlanta?? If you think it is go find the agent, you clearly don't know me at all because the first thing I always do when I get to an airport is find the nearest bar and order a bloody mary. You know how most people have their own little travel rituals or things that they allow themselves to do only when they are traveling?? Well, mine is eating gummy bears and/or Skittles and drinking bloody marys. At no other time will you see me eating a bag of Skittles.....can't say the same for the bloody marys. Anywhoo, once I finally made my way to the ticketing agent, he seemed shocked and appalled that I didn't already have a seat on this extremely overbooked flight. So the agent goes on the loudspeaker and kindly asks for volunteers to take the next flight. No one stands up. He offers a free roundtrip flight. No one stands up. He offers a roundtrip flight plus AirTran bucks. No one stands up. To make a long story short, he ends up having to give away 2 roundtrip flights, $200 in AirTran bucks, and a free "gift" in order for one measley person to stand up. Just damn. So I happily head towards my coach seat (I was hoping a first classer would offer up their seat but no such luck) and order myself a bloody mary.
Right after I get in to Dayton it is pretty much time to head to the rehearsal dinner which is a cookout at a country club. So Sarah, Susanj, Conrad (Susanj's boyfriend), and myself all make the 30 minute drive out to the cookout. When I got there, I headed straight for the keg and was ecstatic to see that it was a keg of Killian's!! Julie tells me that she got it just for me, but I have my doubts. She said that at Willy's wedding I was the only one who actually bitched about the keg of Bud Light but she knew that if I was the only one speaking up about it, everyone else must be thinking it. Smart girl. Anyways, then I headed over to the food table where I found an array of things that would send me straight to the ER. After deliberating for about 10 minutes over whether I was more likely to choke on an all-beef hot dog or a hamburger, I chose the hamburger. Well, I was completely grief stricken over whether to start eating or not when someone (sorry, I can't remember who) saved me from myself and pointed out the turkey and cheese croissants sitting on the table that I had overlooked. Shew....disaster averted.
Nothing much else happened at the rehearsal dinner, but we tapped the keg within a good hour and a half and then made the drunken trek 30 miles back to the Marriott. We had noticed earlier in the day that the Marriott had a pool bar so we all decided that once we got back we would all meet up at the pool for some more drinking. Sarah and I were the first to get back to our rooms, so I went out on the terrace to look at how many people were in the pool. Well, I could barely even see the pool for the 400 people that were crowded around the bar area. There was even a stage with quite possibly the worst cover band I had ever heard belting out Prince songs. I felt like I was looking down on a club from the balcony or something. Once I went down there for a closer inspection, I saw that there was exactly no one in the pool and that all the girls there were totally skanked out like they were at some LA club and not the Marriott hotel bar in Dayton, Ohio. It was totally bizarre, and I of course forgot to take pictures. Anyways, the night ended up with me finding Sarah puking in the bathroom of our room and everyone else playing Joe's Wii on the plasma TV in the hotel lobby.
On to the wedding day. It was my first Catholic wedding and it kinda seemed like we were at a church service where there just happened to be a wedding taking place also. I guess that's just how Catholics roll. After the service we all headed outside to find not only an enormous RV, but also someone dressed as the Tiger (Clemson's mascot). Apparently, Julie's dad had purchased a 1985 RV just to take the wedding party from the church to the reception. Little did he know, it would also become the drunkmobile at around 11 PM and start taking everyone's sweaty butts back to the hotel. Anyways, we saw the wedding party off and then headed to the reception which was held at a place which apparently serves as a farmer's market where you buy fruits and vegetables during the week. You know what that means, no a/c. And as you know, I am quite possibly the sweatiest person alive. I was rocking a full body sweat after being there for a solid 5 minutes. I think Sarah said it best...."talk about swamp ass..." She was wearing a thong, so she had to pick her dress off of her ass everytime she stood up. Ew.
The reception got off to a great start around 3:30 with lots of drinking, good food, and the classic Long family Goldschlager shot. This is about the time that I met my new BFF Kimberly Sims. Kimberly is our friend Slimer's fiance from Texas and she is awesome. I know by the end of the night, Slimer was wishing I would shut the hell up because I could not stop talking about how much I liked his fiance. You woulda thought I wanted to marry her, for rizzle. Anyways, the reception continued on its merry way and the only bumps in the road that I noticed were an extremely unfunny, long, rhyming poem created by the bride and groom and a bizarro taking off the garter dance that involved sunglasses and what I think was a Right Said Fred song. We managed to drink through that and I think I can credit Clapp with noticing that the centerpieces looked like great things to put beer in. They were like these 3 feet tall skinny glass vases with some flowers coming out the top. We all took bets on how many beers you could fit in one (I guessed four), but it actually turned out to be like 1.5 because the things were so freakin skinny. In the picture below you can see Clapp and Joe drinking out of them. So after drinking a few more vases of beer, everyone decides that it would be a great idea to get in the fountain. All the girls, even Christine in her bridesmaid dress, hike up their dresses and jump in the fountain because shakin' their booties in the fountain sounds like a much better idea than shakin' them on the dance floor. Duh. I gotta say, this is at about hour 6 of the 8 hour reception. To top all of this excitement off, pizza gets delivered to us at around hour 7. Oh yeah, and Sarah is smoking some random cigar with some random bow in her hair. I tried to attach a pic but it wouldn't upload. So after about 8 hours at the reception, the DJ plays his last song, and we all head outside to find the RV waiting to take us all back to Club Marriott.
It was a really great time. Mad props to Jules and Jon. Well, I am much less tense than I was when I started writing this blog but I am very worried for the life of the blog. After my first day of orientation I am fairly sure I'm not gonna have enough time to go to the bathroom, much less write my blog. We'll see how it goes though. Right now I am off to a Friday night girl's dinner prepared by Chef HLM.


-jessie said...

Blogger is not letting me put new paragraphs where I want to again. Hope that doesn't bug my blog-fans as much as it bugs me.

Sis said...

Hey. I'm just now reading this blog entry! So fun! I am sure that the Marriott & the reception loved all of y'all. Sounds like it was a much better time for you, with no choking & no visit to the ER. Julie's gotta be happy - you love it when your friends love your wedding!

Enjoy your last week of freedom, my dear!

Love ya!

Ryan Pinckney said...

Hi Jessie!

So I'm finally leaving a comment after reading your blog so many times! I'm so excited that you like Kimberly so much, but I figured everyone would see what I see in her. Keep up the blogging - you might inspire some of the rest of us to do the same thing! Keep it real.

Ryan aka Slimer

Kimberly said...

Yay! I made my first blog!! This is a pretty big day for me. AND I jumped right up to BFF status. I mean, Wow! The feeling is mutual, my darling. It was so awesome to meet you. I hope the stars are aligned this September and we'll meet up again at my wedding.

Julie and Jon said...

Well Jessie, Jon and I have finally returned from Cozumel after Mother Nature had it in for us on the way home. We are glad you had such a great time, and the Killians keg was in fact just for you. Two retaliations... 1. You didn't like the poem because there was not a specific shout out for you. 2. There was not a hint of Right Said Fred, so you must have been too drunk by that point to recall anything accurately.

Good luck with the intern year! I feel your pain about going back to hard ass work after 3 months off!

Dr. and Mr. Heh

BrothaMan said...

It's not a party until there are drunk bitches in the fountain!

Kelly H aggerty said...

Joe, you are gorgeous and I am so sorry I couldn't make it to Dayton. Please don't tell Shaun we hooked up in 2001.

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